Sunday, November 1, 2009

it's a good day to live

What have I forgotten? Have I forgotten how to breathe? how to be? how to spread my fingers just to feel the stretch of what it's like to reach? Have I fallen ill to the destiny of scattered ashes that descend to glass-covered grasses? If we don't walk on it we won't kill it---how true this seems to be.

Depending on how the light strikes my eyelashes I sometimes see disco-ball like reflections on everything. In photos these orbs could be ghosts but in real-time experiences their glimpses of hope. The same sparkle exists on the leaves of grass when the glass is lifted. Tiny round worlds slide up and down along stems that penetrate into root-laden ground.

I often imagine what it must feel like to be grounded so that you can never be overpowered by infinite space, like the light of a flame that penetrates the darkness.

My roots would hold me steady and secure. I'd wrap them all around boulders in the ground so when I'm tall and bolder myself I'll be able to give, and sway in the wind, without doubt or the possibility to faulter. The embrace under there-- with the strength of a silk-web netting around a million possible Davids in a block of marble--will carve out a place for me to hold dear, as my own, a place to grab hold of the stone.

Eventually, who knows, maybe my roots will burrow so deep and so fully that I'll lift myself up--that impossible trick little kids attempt to perfect where you hold your own foot and try to step in. Can God create a rock that even She cannot lift? Can one lift herself up and carry her own body? These miraculous feats are the sort of things that make me hope there's a god 'cuz I've never believed the story of picking oneself up by her bootstraps. After all, boots are actually quite heavy.

But maybe there is something to this old riddle, because you cannot go up until you go down. You cannot grow up until you bow down. Be steady with two feet on the ground and all the energy concentrated and connected to the firm, forgiving dirt, concrete, asphalt, even water (I've heard it's possible), just don't look up yet. Linear lines can travel in at least two directions in spite of their conceptual limitations. So reach with me, both in and out. Grab hold of the earth, stretch out to the sky, breathe in with the joy of knowing that you are one with, created by, and birthing heavens through channeling gravity.

I think this has something to do with being One with Nature. If it's true that God created the laws of physics then maybe this means I'm beginning to get it. From my stretching and holding, reaching and releasing, I've learned the true meaning of security. Grab hold of the earth, stretch out to the sky, and breathe in with joy for the ways you are growing.


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