what i can learn from Heidegger

There are only so many things that I can take on today and the thought of "this life" weighs down my being. I'm concerned with other things--like the leaves that are changing and how I wish to fall lightly upon the street like they do, I want to watch the moon wax and wane as you do when you breathe in your sleep, I want to join you in the dreamscape of an empty stage- without walls, without maps, without paths to get lost, without a way to get back- I want to be already there. Always already there in this day. The 'life' that we lead, I want to live it, not think or dream or leave it. Let's be. there.

But what does that even mean?

I can't describe the way eyes light up when the passion ignites between strangers in a room, how one is left gasping at the beauty of a realization that this is the 'who' of family and me--Community--- We can see what it means to authentically be in the world with arms wide open, heart exposed, the strength of vulnerability in the face of fear and displaced hope---the smell, which comes to me less quickly than what I can so vividly see through the locking of our hands and feet, to put a face to the fragrance of love in the sheets, or the way I turn corners and find myself turned back on the night and looking up to the next rising sun of the moment I discover again and again with each step I take towards here. where I already am. this is the there of being and letting beings be. I already am.

-9/30/08